The 3 Events That Give Perimenopause Its Bad Reputation
A friend recently told me the story of when she first got her period. Her mom gave her a big hug, so proud that she was becoming a woman. Then she sat her down and gave the talk.
This is what’s happening and what it means…here’s how to use these hygiene products…here’s some Motrin for your cramps.
When I asked if her mom ever talked with her about menopause it was the opposite story.
It’s great my friend’s mom gave the period talk, and frankly, that’s more than what many girls get. But what happens when we are on the other end of this phase of our life?
When we turn 35 no one is sitting us down and saying, “hey honey, I need to talk with you about what’s gonna happen with your hormones over the next 10-15 years.”
For a woman in her 40s perimenopause is a second puberty. And just like there is conversation without stigma around our first major hormonal change that launches us into womanhood, the same needs to happen for our midlife hormonal shifts, as well.
What Is A Health Critical Window?
We are big Great British Bake Show fans at our house. One of the foods that bakers stress about ruining on the show is the caramel sauce.
When making the sauce there’s a critical window where you simply CANNOT move the ingredients around in the pan. If you do, it will crystallize, making you have to chuck it in the bin and start all over again. If you make it past that phase and the caramel turns its beautiful amber color - leave it on the heat too long and it will quickly burn.
Like caramel, our health has its own critical windows— phases where what you do (or don’t do) carries outsized impact. Perimenopause is one of them, a period where small health issues can quietly snowball into larger problems if left unchecked.
What Happens During Perimenopause
This hormonal transition marks the final years of a woman's reproductive era. Perimenopause, (or peri, for short) can start 10-12 years before reaching menopause, with the final 1-3 years feeling, for some, the most severe.
While it's brilliant the conversation about this phase of a woman’s life has finally gained mainstream attention, with that attention comes the opportunity for misinformation. Companies eager to capitalize on our collective lack of understanding about our hormonal changes are happy to let women believe that peri is complete hormonal chaos with no predictable rhyme or reason. The lies!
Perimenopause is a sequence of events with three main describable acts. In these acts, estrogen and progesterone are like two dancing sisters with progesterone guiding estrogen in step.
Wouldn’t you know that progesterone is equivalent to a big sister to estrogen. Working to keep her wild and free nature in line. Progesterone, in addition to its many contributions, also works to regulate and oppose the mighty effects of estrogen.
The Acts:
Progesterone loss is act I. This can start happening as early as your mid-30s and is the change that most perimenopause symptoms stem from. Here you can start to experience things that have never been a part of your life before. Symptoms like anxiety, migraines, weight gain, and night sweats.
Estrogen fluctuation is act II. Without the governance of progesterone to maintain order, estrogen can soar extremely high before plummeting. This extreme change is what leads to hot flashes, irritability, sore boobs, and heavy periods.
Lower estrogen is act III. After your final period estrogen settles into its lower production state, returning to levels it was before you hit puberty. After several years of the ovaries trying to pump out more estrogen to maintain levels necessary to produce life, our girl just gives up. This is the final curtain call for perimenopause as menopause takes main stage.
But wait! There’s a bonus act: increased insulin resistance.
With the sisters progesterone and estrogen now living their retirement life, your cells can become less sensitive to insulin. Remember the critical window? Insulin resistance is one of the primary causes for diabetes in midlife.
But there is good news, too. When those three main acts have run their course, the symptoms that accompany them — brain fog, fatigue, weight gain, anxiety, slower recovery, etc. — will mostly subside.
How To Prepare For Perimenopause
Estrogen and progesterone have kept things running behind the scenes since the time your cycle established itself. They have protected your heart, brain, bones, muscles, immunity, fertility, and a host of other essential functions. The massive loss of these hormones means the loss of your built-in health buffers. Not sweating the small stuff like getting enough sleep, eating quality foods, lifting weights, and getting a handle on stress, makes perimenopause a vulnerable time for developing issues like heart disease and osteoporosis.
How do you prepare to handle it?
Start by meeting yourself where you’re at.
Equip yourself with knowledge. Being informed is your greatest asset. Take the time to learn what’s happening with your boldy and how to best support yourself mentally, physically, and emotionally. This makes it easier for you to advocate for yourself with your doctors, family, friends, and colleagues.
Audit your habits. Do you track your symptoms? What are you actually putting in your mouth? How often do you actually strength train? How much time are you actually laying in your bed scrolling when you need to be sleeping? When was the last time you said no to exhaustion of everyone else’s demands? Bring it all front and center because what gets measured, gets managed.
Bring in support. Perimenopause is not something to white-knuckle through, and going it alone often makes your stress worse. Emotionally, it can feel like the woman you’ve always known yourself to be has stepped away. This is where connection matters. Find women in the same stage, share what you’re experiencing, trade ideas, and swap resources. And if it circumstances allow, hire a coach — someone to educate, guide, support, and keep you accountable as you build habits that lay the groundwork for the decades ahead.
Perimenopause is puberty in reverse.
With the right tools and guidance, it can be the beginning of your best era yet.
Ready to navigate perimenopause with a strategy? That’s what we do inside Prep For Peri.